There seems to be an extremely common trend of women identifying as their Venus. In astrology spaces, which are mostly female dominated spaces, the Venus sign is often given as much significance as the big three in memes, in certain types of posts that look for interaction, etc. It seems to be a well accepted fact that Venus represents the personality of the native in a woman’s chart, and spouse in a man’s chart.
To me, this is nonsense. There is a beauty to Venus for sure, but to me, the heavy identification with Venus often is a symptom of another problem, which is the way that women are objectified, and often, objectify themselves to feel desired.
The nature of Venus is not the personality. Rather, Venus shines a light on value, desire, love, art, and connection. That is to say, Venus is not about the self, but rather, about what is worth having around you. Even when it is self love, it is about loving the self from an outsider perspective. Venus is about what you love, what you desire, and what you want to own.
The identification of Venus with women is a symptom of the patriarchy. Women are the ones who are pressured by society and the world to objectify themselves, to become valuable. In patriarchy, women are expected to be the belongings of their husband, which is why they say that Venus represents the self in a woman’s chart.
Venus can be the steps you take to be loved and desired, because venus is a signal. Embodying it signifies openness to a relationship, and usually, openness to the right kind of relationship. Because Venus is value, what it is trying to attract is not a general crowd, but rather, what it values. This is something that not just women embody, but smart men as well. Embodiment of Venus is done by whoever wants connection with people they admire.
However, embodying Venus is not the way to be our best selves. It is a way to attract others. How we attract others is not our best self, our best self is the type of person who we can respect. Someone with strong willpower, and someone who knows what they want.
When we discuss self love, our ideal self, or being confident within ourselves, what we must actually look towards is the Sun. The reason that Sun is fallen in Libra, the sign of partnerships is because the distinction between the self and what is valuable is mixed when Sun is in Libra. When it comes to that which is valuable, such as luxury objects, or people who are worth having in your life, you should not want them to be anything but themselves. Improvement upon the self is ideally not guided by any external force, nor is it acceptable to guide someone to being your ideal.
According to some astrologers, the further Venus is away from the Sun, the better the both of these planets work. While I do not necessarily agree with this, the principle behind this idea is worth understanding and considering. The Sun represents the soul, and the constant self improvement that your soul requires. Venus represents how you understand and treat the people you love.
The reason that the Moon exalts in a Venus ruled sign is not because it is good to identify with Venus, but rather, because your body is a beloved belonging, and not the self. The body is your tool to enact the wishes of the self, the Sun.
To truly love ourselves, we need to behave in ways that we can respect ourselves. For how we treat others, we simply need to love them as they are. Loving yourself as you are is good to some extent, but it can often hinder the kind of growth you need. Expecting improvement from others is also good, but it will hinder you from loving them as they deserve to be loved.
When you have Venus and Sun (or even first house) connected the work that you need to do involves separating the self from the people that you love. You need to individuate, and understand that while being a good partner is a worthy goal, it has to come from genuine appreciation of the other, and not from a quid pro quo mindset. Rather, it is your job to be the best person you can be, and appreciate the people who are attracted to that.
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